Happy winter blogging
It feels great to write in winter. Especially when it’s winter and it’s the last month of the year. Apart from making a list of new year resolutions in my mind, I happen to revisit the past in the month of December. I think of special incidences, events and moments from the past twelve months and try to evaluate everything. From the writing point of view, this year was very much disappointing for me. The numbers are not great but I definitely have written more than the previous year.
At the start of this year, I had decided for myself that I won’t react emotionally to everything. I did my best though my decision resulted in many unexpressed feelings and plans (to make them happy) cancelled on last-minute. I usually wouldn’t hold back and would express my feelings to the people I love and consider part of my life. But, I had learned that not all people deserve my attention, time and love and at some point I will need to put an end to such relationships. I executed what I had intended to do this year and let me tell you that I was more happy person than before throughout the year.
What I did in 2017
It wasn’t an easy task. At some point, I doubted my decision but the final outcome was worth it. The people I gave up on, whom I did not wish on their birthdays, whom I did not call or replied back, never cared of my presence in their life. That was the plan, I had to leave them behind for my own goodness. In some cases, I was about to repeat what I had done in the past years. I had to stop myself to make them happy for I love them. There is no point in giving all efforts to the wrong person who hardly cares about you.
So, in the past twelve months, I put an end to some relationships, ignored few people, gave up on some people for the lifetime, pushed a few of them away and kicked a few out from my life. I deleted some contacts and conversations from the phone too. Did they deserve it? Don’t know that but what I do know is that I deserve to be loved, valued and respected. I know it sounds all rude but let me tell you that I gave another chance to some of the people and relationships only to get hurt in return once again.
A letter from draft
Today, when I look back I feel glad seeing that I did not lose the sentiments of love in the process. I stayed connected with my loved ones, wished them and celebrated their presence in my life in every way possible. Being a writer, most of the time I prefer words to convey my emotions and love. I found this unpublished draft of letter written for one of my best friends back in May 2017.
I remember how happy I was while writing this letter in my office. It was supposed to be published on our second friendship anniversary but for some reason I could not finish it that day. If you have read the facts about my blog, you would know that I don’t publish half-finished articles. But, that is not going to be true from today onwards as I am copying that half-finished letter below for my friend. I have always wanted to publish it so let today be the day.
Usually I don’t remember the day I wake up into. All of them seem to be the same these days. But, some of them never go out of my mind. Maybe they would last forever in my memory. I think it is more about dates and not the days. I happen to remember dates than the actual days. And, I do know why I remember them. It is because of people who had made them special and memorable. Two days ago, I welcomed such a date, one of the specials from my life. It was two years ago, on this exact date, we had talked to each other for the very first time and had stepped into each other’s life. I still remember the kind of joy I had felt upon connecting with you while carrying a kind of feeling deep inside that this connection would not going to last any longer. To my surprise, it lasted for a good two years and I feel so glad to be here, at this stage where I could write about our journey together.
Before I write anything foolish, let me confess that I really don’t know why I am doing this, by this I mean writing to you at 3am in the morning in the middle of office work. Actually, there are too many don’t knows on my side. I left the Whatsapp just to stop the communication between us completely. By then, I wanted to disconnect with you completely. My mind was fully filled with your thoughts and all I wanted was a break. I didn’t want to think about you. I didn’t want to imagine both of us together for I knew that it wasn’t going to happen in this lifetime.
How was year 2017 for you? What did you do in 2017? Do you have any draft post that you wish to publish before new year starts?
Prat, I have missed you!! 🙂
I have been missing you too Himu! Welcome back!! 🙂